broadsides

On Thanks Giving
November 22, 2010
Author: Moishe Rosen

If you think that Thanksgiving is about turkeys and pumpkin pie… …you are about as smart as a turkey and as bright as a six week old jack-o-lantern without a candle. Sorry to insult you, but I thought maybe, perhaps, I could just shake you up a little bit so that you would know… …just…

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The Human Vegetable Speaks Out
August 10, 2006
Topics: broadsides

We interviewed the Human Vegetable to hear what he had to say. What follows is an actual transcript of his remarks: Yep, that was me. The human vegetable. I was a potato. I had eyes, but I couldn’t see. I was corn. I had ears, but I couldn’t hear. I was lettuce. I had a…

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Holiday Shopping is Here! Shop Till You Drop
November 30, 2005
Topics: broadsides

Shopping with credit cards can be very rewarding! With just a wave of your credit card, you can go on vacation and rent that car you could never afford to buy. (Of course, driving it is another story!) You can buy the most exquisite clothes and dine at the finest restaurants. Just remember, if you…

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Meshugge or Messiah?
November 2, 2005
Topics: jesus, broadsides

Meshugge or Messiah? You know what meshugge means, right? It’s Yiddish for crazy, loony, nuts, weird. But do you know the meaning of Messiah? (pick one) A. A way of stalling indefinitely B. The beginning of an apology… C. Music that sounds a little like a classical rendition of “Yes, We Have No Bananas.” D….

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It’s Not Like Halloween
October 31, 2005
Topics: broadsides
Author: Moishe Rosen

God doesn’t come to our door for a handout in a goblin costume, putting us on the spot for a trick or treat. God is no jack-o-lantern-in-the-sky… His imposing presence doesn’t say to us that if we don’t treat him right, he’s going to pull some cosmic prank, such as famine, cardiac arrest, or clogged…

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Where is Safe”?”
July 15, 2005
Topics: broadsides

When we were kids playing hide ‘n seek, there was usually a place declared “safe.” It was great; you could go there without worrying that another kid would catch you. In baseball, we could be “safe” on base or “safe at home.” Wasn’t it always such a relief to get “safe”? Sure it was. But…

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Art Department
February 1, 1989
Topics: broadsides

B’Hemah B’hemah is the Hebrew word for animal” or “beast.” Our artists Terry and Patricia regard this huge process stat camera as a one-eyed monster, perhaps because it’s so big. When fully extended, the bellows is six feet long, and the lens is the size of a two-lb. coffee can. Actually, the Acti 225 is…

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