• You’re asked to pray in church and you begin with, Now I lay me down to sleep…”
  • Your idea of a Bible study is a room full of bookcases with various versions of the Bible on each shelf.
  • You think that a tract is a plot of land for building a house.
  • You think that the Lord’s Prayer contains the verse, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.…”
  • You think that the Apostle’s Creed is the name of the prizefighter who fought Rocky.
  • You think that sharing your story means inviting someone to your retirement banquet.
  • You’re sure that other Christians love the Lord less than you do.
  • You have your quiet time while watching Monday Night Football.
  • You think that the verb “serve” applies only to tennis.
  • You don’t remember where you bought your last Bible, but the cover is embossed with The Gideons’ emblem.
  • You think that Billy Graham is the music promoter for the Grateful Dead.
  • You think that witnessing is something you do on behalf of the plaintiff or the defendant.
  • You think that the Rock of Ages is the symbol for Prudential Insurance Company.
  • You think that to keep your light shining means to pay your electric bill.
  • You haven’t bothered to read this.