New Year’s Resolutions We’d Like to Hear
Though we Jews for Jesus want to advise you not to make promises that you can’t keep,” we thought it might be both edifying and perhaps amusing to hear some New Year’s resolutions which, if put into action, might have some interesting and beneficial results.
1980 would be a wonderful year…
1. IF all Jewish people resolved that this would be the year to investigate the claims of Christ, to see if perhaps they are true.
2. IF Susan Perlman resolves that this is the year she’s finally going to follow Mrs. Olsen’s directions for making coffee (since some of us might not make it to 1981 if we keep on drinking what she’s been brewing thus far).
3. IF the Israeli government resolves that it will allow Jewish believers living in that country to hand out as many Gospel tracts as they like this year.
4. IF Moishe Rosen resolves that this is the year he will ease up on the Jews for Jesus staff, and gives us all a three-day weekend once in awhile. Who else has to work on Memorial Day, or the Fourth of July?
5. IF Moishe Rosen resolves that this is the year he will hire some foreign missionaries who can’t speak English. They also can’t talk back when he tells them there’s no such thing as a three-day weekend.
6. IF Avi Snyder resolves to grow six inches by 1981, and takes out stock in Wheaties.
7. IF every Jews for Jesus supporter resolves to tell at least one other Christian about the work of Jews for Jesus, so that twice as many believers will be praying to the end that Jews might be saved.
8. IF Baruch Goldstein resolves to stop telling stories every day about his “beautiful daughter Rachel,” and limits them to every other day.
9. IF the Ayatollah Khomeini really came to believe the Bible, and resolved to tell the Iranians that Jesus is the Messiah.
10. IF all businesses, entertainment outlets, etc., resolved that they would set one day aside to honor the Lord as a day of rest.
11. IF we could combine Memorial Day and the Fourth of July and celebrate them both on January 1st, so that Moishe might resolve to give us that one day off and we could still get some work done around here.
12. IF every Christian would resolve to visit an old-age home once a month, and show Christ’s love to people who need it.
13. IF employers resolved to pay their workers more, and employees resolved to work harder, without consulting each other. That would be enough to convince anyone that the Millennium had come in 1980!
14. IF the Jews for Jesus newsletter editor resolved to never write another grammatically uncorrect sentence ever again. However, she would also have to resolve to find another line of ministry…