PERFORMANCE FACTORS FAR EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS MEETS JOB REQUIREMENTS NEEDS SOME IMPROVEMENT DOES NOT MEET MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS
Quality Leaps tall buildings with a single bound Must take running start to leap over tall buildings Can only leap over short or medium buildings with no spires Crashes into buildings when attempting to jump over them Cannot recognize buildings at all, let alone jump
Timeliness Is faster than a speeding bullet Is as fast as a speeding bullet Is not quite so fast as a speeding bullet Would you believe a slow bullet? Wounds self with bullets when attempting to shoot
Initiative and Stamina Is more powerful than a locomotive Is stronger than a bull elephant Is as strong as a baby elephant Thinks he’s Dumbo, the baby elephant Tries to fly, but ears will not flap
Communication Talks with God face to face like Moses did Talks with the angels Talks to self Argues with self Loses those arguments
Adaptability Walks on water consistently Walks on water in emergencies Floats on water Gets easily winded when doing the dog paddle Sinks rather than swims

Editor’s Note: This unusual piece was sent to us by some friends of our ministry (who shall remain nameless, so please do not ask who they are). We have modified and adapted it for Newsletter use. We found It amusing. If you do not, please do not complain; just ignore it.